


fall from a shooting star

by orphan_account



Series: drops of jupiter [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Group Chat, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Everyone’s gay, F/F, Henry Laurens’ A+ Parenting, High School AU, M/M, alternate universe - high school setting, group chat au, it’ll finish on the last day of june thanks, lots of inappropriate jokes, pride month, texting au, texting fic, this book is for pride month if you couldnt tell, updates are every second day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 00:26:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 14,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14759156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A series of events that start from Lafayette’s return from France and end with the start of the revolutionary set’s last ever year of high school.Complete with drama, tears and an excess amount of macaroni and cheese.(texting fic)





	1. so what did i fuckin miss?

**Author's Note:**

> this takes place in the summer before their last year of high school.
> 
> more characters would be added as the fic moves along.
> 
> contact me:  
> [tumblr: baneberri  
> instagram: _baneberries]

  
**hammie** : laffy is coming back from france!!

 **inthesequel** : yay

 **elizard** : be more enthusiastic please!

 **inthesequel** : Y A Y !!

 **brah** : @alex do you know who else is coming back from france

 **hammie** : don’t fuckin remind me

 **inthesequel** : wait who is coming back from france

 **brah** : do you remember a thomas jefferson

 **peggles** : no?

 **hammie** : lemme tell you about thomass jeffershit

 **theplacetobe** : alex no

 **hammie** : we were meant to work on a group project a while ago and we only did it for a week but it was the worst week of my life

 **hammie** : he's so annoying

 **hammie** : like,,, not peggy annoying, john adams annoying

 **peggles** : excuse

 **theplacetobe** : i've met him

 **theplacetobe** : he isn't that bad

 **theplacetobe** : forgive me for saying this, but the only reason he dislikes you so much is bc most people with an ounce of common sense find you very annoying

 **hammie** : what

 **elizard** : how can we say this nicely

 **elizard** : but,,, some people like or dislike people. you are not the only one in the world who has emotions

 **inthesequel** : she's only preaching the truth

 **theplacetobe** : i'll add him to this gc

 **hammie** : johnathan no

 **theplacetobe**  has added **macaroni** to this group chat

 **macaroni** : what is this

 **macaroni** : where am i

 **macaroni** : is this heaven

 **hammie** : welcome back jeffershit

 **macaroni** : nvm it's hell

 **theplacetobe** : you were meant to be back in the states yesterday explain

 **macaroni** : this random little fucker spilled coffee over me and delayed both of our flights

 **macaroni** : but he isn't too bad, we're waiting for our flights together

 **hammie** : i was just wondering

 **hammie** : when you say 'little fucker' are you referring to yourself

 **macaroni** : how you say.... shut the fuck up hamilton

 **hammie** : w h a t

 **theplacetobe** : yo yo back off fr fr

 **peggles** : only we get to insult him step the fuck down tjeffs

 **brah** : ^^

 **laffy taffy** : hello everyone !!

 **elizard** : laf!!! you're back!!!

 **laffy** **taffy** : i finally summoned up the courage to ask for the airport wifi

 **laffy** **taffy** : and i also have a question

 **brah** : shoot

 **laffy** **taffy** : hercules mulligan

 **laffy** **taffy** : i did not know you had a gun

 **brah** : sometimes i think you have a firm grasp on the english language then this sort of shit happens

 **laffy** **taffy** : @macaroni is the 'little fuckers' hair in a ponytail

 **macaroni** : ......yes.........

 **laffy** **taffy** : is he on his phone and wiggling his handsome eyebrows at you

 **macaroni** : .............yes............

 **macaroni** : well, his eyebrows are kind of like mine therefore he has handsome eyebrows

 **hammie** : i am going to make the mature decision and ignore that disgusting display of arrogance and let laf continue

 **laffy** **taffy** : is your name actually thomas jefferson

 **macaroni** : of course it is

 **laffy** **taffy** : are your parents' names jane + peter

 **macaroni** : how do you know this and where tf are you going with this

 **laffy** **taffy** : i think i am your cousin

 **macaroni** : :o

 **brah** : are y'all a sitcom

 **hammie** : @john come over

 **inthesequel** : this is not to correct time to talk about sex

 **hammie** : it is always the correct time to talk about sex

 **theplacetobe** : alex no

 **hammie** : i have mario kart

 **theplacetobe** : currently sprinting to your place

 **macaroni** : how tf did you know I was your

 **macaroni** : your name is lafayette isn't it

 **laffy** **taffy** : oui

 **macaroni** : i knew i was your cousin but i didn't think we were actually related

 **inthesequel** : black families be like that

 **macaroni** : i have like fifteen aunts and uncles and only five of them are related to me

 **brah** : same

 **inthesequel** : same

 **laffy** **taffy** : thomas

 **laffy** **taffy** : our flight number is being called

 **laffy** **taffy** : do you want me to visit you when we are in america ?

 **macaroni** : of course

 **elizard** : a w w

 **peggles** : @elizard tru, tru

 **hammie** : this is sweet n all but where the fuck is john

 **theplacetobe** : i went to walmart on the way to your house to get some candy but i found eliza and we are just chilling in the candy aisle

 **hammie** : if you and eliza don't come home in five minutes i am burning everything you own and drop kicking you both off a cliff

 **theplacetobe** : what the fuck

 **macaroni** : are you, eliza and laurens dating

 **hammie** : no

 **theplacetobe** : nah

 **elizard** : you all probably know that my heart belongs to one person and one person alone

 **inthesequel** : not this girl again

 **brah** : is this THE girl

 **peggles** : if y'all don't know what's going on, eliza really likes this chick and wouldn't stop going on and on about her

 **elizard** : i'll add her to the gc

 **elizard** : after i delete that message about my heart belonging to her

 **elizard** : oh and the message above this

 **elizard** has deleted three messages

 **elizard** has added **saynotothis** to this group chat

 **elizard** : hi maria

 **saynotothis** : hi eliza

 **saynotothis** : is this the group chat

 **brah** : what group chat

 **saynotothis** : you know

 **saynotothis** : THE group chat

 **brah** : oh i see what you're talking about

 **brah** : we have another one with only the rev set in it but this is the main one

 **jemmy** : stop spamming you human equivalents of horse shit

 **brah** : that's james, he's soft and angry

 **saynotothis** : wait a damn minute

 **saynotothis** : which james

 **peggles** : what do you mean which james

 **peggles** : there's like,,, only one james

 **saynotothis** : james monroe

 **inthesequel** : nah, this is james madison

 **brah** : the best james

 **inthesequel** : rt

 **peggles** : rt

 **brah** : rt

 **jemmy** : i would blush if i wasn't so consumed with melanin and rage

 **elizard** : see how adorable

 **peggles** : hey, have any of you noticed how james and herc look alike

 **brah** : we don't, stop feeding people doppelgänger propaganda

 **inthesequel** : now that you actually think about it

 **theplacetobe** : y'all we've got bigger problems than whatever the fuck this is

 **saynotothis** : what

 **hammie** : i'm coming to dinner

 **inthesequel** : with henry laurens ??

 **hammie** : yes

 **saynotothis** : who's henry laurens

 **inthesequel** : john's father

 **brah** : henry laurens once won an award for the best parenting skills

 **peggles** : really??

 **brah** : no

 **theplacetobe** : if he finds out that alex and i are dating he'll probably throw everything i own in a paper shredder, kick me out of his house, refuse to pay for my education and probably write me out of his will

 **saynotothis** : :o

 **brah** : i genuinely wish he would need his will soon, if you know what i mean

 **hammie** : don't worry i wouldn't run my mouth or anything

 **inthesequel** : you sure bout that


	2. here comes dat dumbass oh shit whaddup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i... apologise in advance for this
> 
> as always, here’s the character guide:  
> hammie - alex  
> theplacetobe - laurens  
> brah - herc  
> laffy taffy - laf  
> macaroni - tjeffs  
> jemmy - james  
> inthesequel - angelica  
> elizard - eliza  
> peggles - peggy  
> saynotothis - maria
> 
> more characters will be added!

**recap from last chapter** :

_**theplacetobe** : if he finds out that alex and i are dating he'll probably throw everything i own in a paper shredder, kick me out of his house and probably write me out of his will_

_**saynotothis** : :o_

_**hammie** : don't worry i wouldn't run my mouth or anything_

 

 

 **group chat ~ really big squad**  

 

 **theplacetobe** : update: he ran his mouth

 **hammie** : john, i am so sorry

 **theplacetobe** : no

 **theplacetobe** : i am not going to accept your pathetic excuse for an apology

 **hammie** : i can explain

 **theplacetobe** : i don't want to hear it

 **theplacetobe** has removed **hammie** from this group chat

 **laffy** **taffy** : thomas and i are going to be missing for a bit, we are currently visiting his mother

 **laffy** **taffy** : woah what happened

 **theplacetobe** : alexander fucking hamilton happened

 **elizard** : deep breathes my child

 **elizard** : tell us what happened

 **theplacetobe** : so we were at dinner with dad and everything was cool for a bit

 **theplacetobe** : alex was being charming and hilarious and i could tell that my dad liked him already mostly bc he knew that we weren’t dating, we were just really good friends

 **saynotothis** : is this a bad time for me to be in the gc

 **elizard** : no no it’s fine

 **elizard** : @john continue

 **theplacetobe** : and while we were having dinner, my sister marty was listening to the radio upstairs really loudly so we could hear everything

 **theplacetobe** : and ‘too good for goodbyes’ came on

 **peggles** : by sam smith??

 **theplacetobe** : yeah

 **peggles** : i think i know where this story is going

 **theplacetobe** : and my dad made an off comment about sam smith being “a filthy homosexual”

 **theplacetobe** : that’s a direct quote by the way

 **theplacetobe** : and alex went off on him

 **theplacetobe** : i mean insults were flying and he was verbally murdering my own father

 **theplacetobe** : i was happy at the start bc this was the first time i had seen him spechles EVER and i was in shck

 **theplacetobe** : he sent alex home eary an ignored me forr the rest of rhe nigh so i kinda thosufht i was in rhe cler but

 **brah** : but...?

 **theplacetobe** : im so sory i cant reaaly se my pone rght now

 **elizard** : it’s okay john

 **elizard** : don’t worry, it’ll be fine

 **elizard** : just try to breathe every thing will be okay

 **theplacetobe** : and ehen i was abot to go to bed i herd him on his phon and

 **theplacetobe** : hee was talkng to this prson an talking abut howw he wantd to sen me to converson thrapy

 **inthesequel** : W H A T

 **elizard** : i don’t know how bad it’ll be

 **saynotothis** : not to alarm you but it’ll probably be very bad

 **saynotothis** : i was sent there once, it was horrible

 **saynotothis** : the best thing to do is to just pretend to be straight, you’ll get out quickly with minimum damage

 **inthesequel** : stfu, you’re scaring him

 **inthesequel** : @john is there any way you can convince him to not let you go

 **theplacetobe** : hee soesnt know im gay yyet he jumt thnks alex is influencmg me

 **brah** : i’m going to beat the everlasting shit out of alexander next time i see him

 **brah** : verbally, of course

 **brah** : he’s lucky john kicked him out of this group chat earlier bc right now he should be dead and buried

 **jemmy** : i know i’m not involved in your drama a lot but

 **jemmy** : john protection squad activate

 **jemmy** : we meet at the schuyler mansion

 **brah** : i’m already in the the driveway let me in

 **brah** : @john when are you going to be there

 **theplacetobe** : jyst give ms a minte

 **elizard** : of course

 **peggles** : we’re all here for you, don’t worry

private messages between **hammie** and **inthesequel**

 **inthesequel** : so?

 **hammie** : angelica

 **hammie** : thank god someone here understands what i’m struggling to do

 **inthesequel** : i’m not here for you

 **hammie** : oh

 **inthesequel** : look, i love john more than anything

 **inthesequel** : he’s part of our metaphorical family

 **inthesequel** : in some situations, i will choose his happiness over mine anytime

 **inthesequel** : and i know you two have been a power couple for months but you really hurt him

 **inthesequel** : you almost outed him to his homophobic father, you had one fucking job

 **inthesequel** : how do you think you would feel if someone nearly outed you, huh ??

 **hammie** : i don’t really have anyone to out myself to

 **inthesequel** : fucking hell alexander

 **inthesequel** : you have to realise that not everything is about you for once in your fucking life

 **inthesequel** : john is hurt bc of you

 **hammie** : i know, i know that, i’m so so sorry

 **hammie** : he just wouldn’t hear me out ever since the incident happened

 **inthesequel** : honestly, would i blame him?

 **inthesequel** : look, alexander

 **inthesequel** : write a five page apology and i promise i’ll get it to him

 **hammie** : promise?

 **inthesequel** : of course

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you think is going to happen to john next? press the kudos button and type out a comment if you liked it!
> 
> this is a lil short but the next one would be extra long!!


	3. cinnamon buns solve problems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, the character key:  
> hammie - alex  
> theplacetobe - laurens  
> brah - herc  
> laffy taffy - laf  
> macaroni - tjeffs  
> jemmy - james  
> inthesequel - angelica  
> elizard - eliza  
> peggles - peggy  
> saynotothis - maria

**recap** :

_**inthesequel** : look, alexander_

_**inthesequel** : write a five page apology and i promise i'll get it to him_

_**hammie** : promise?_

_**inthesequel** : of course_

  
private messages between **elizard** and **saynotothis**

 **elizard** : maria?

 **saynotothis** : yeah?

 **elizard** : so you know during the whole thing with john yesterday

 **saynotothis** : i remember it vividly if that's what you're trying to tell me

 **elizard** : no not that exactly

 **elizard** : when you were warning him about conversion therapy

 **elizard** : i thought you were at a foster home until mr revere adopted you

 **saynotothis** : yes

 **saynotothis** : but a little bit before that, one of my friends in the foster home was a bit of a 'matchmaker'

 **saynotothis** : she set me up with this guy who introduced me to a man called james reynolds

 **elizard** : oh my

 **elizard** : do you want me to come over and bake you cinnamon buns?

 **elizard** : i'm sure paul wouldn't mind

 **saynotothis** : who tf paul?

 **saynotothis** : oh. mr revere

 **saynotothis** : is it okay if i can continue my story

 **elizard** : of course! you don't even have to ask me

 **saynotothis** : anyways, reynolds asked me out. this should have been a major red flag since i was minor and he.... wasn't

 **saynotothis** : you still here?

 **elizard** : yes. i was just listening

 **saynotothis** : okay.

 **saynotothis** : anyways, when he asked me out i wasn't exactly okay with it. i was almost certain i wasn't into men but i still accepted bc i felt bad for him

 **saynotothis** : it was okay at the start but he got controlling really quickly.

 **saynotothis** : he banned me from seeing all my friend and he hit me when i did anything 'wrong'

 **saynotothis** : he found out i wasn't interested in him or any other man so he sent me there

 **elizard** : maria

 **saynotothis** : yeah?

 **elizard** : come over

 **elizard** : please

  
**group chat ~ really big squad**

  
**brah** : the whole gang here?

 **laffy taffy** : i am running a little bit late. me and thomas got news from my mother

 **inthesequel** : peggy and eliza's phones died a few minutes ago but we're here seeing as it is our house

 **jemmy** : i'm not sure if i count as part of your ridiculous gang

 **macaroni** : you're in the group chat are you not

 **jemmy** : i guess, idk

 **macaroni** : and is hamilton not part of your 'ridiculous' gang

 **jemmy** : did you

 **jemmy** : did you read the previous messages or nah

 **macaroni** : no i haven’t, give me a sec

 **macaroni** : okay i've read it all

 **macaroni** : that thing that hamilton pulled was a dick move

 **jemmy** : i agree

 **jemmy** : are you meeting us at the schuyler's or not

 **macaroni** : chill, jemmy. we're hurrying up

 **jemmy** : don't fcking call me jemmy

 **macaroni** : but it's adorable

 **inthesequel** : if y'all are done with your flirting

 **macaroni** : we're done!

 **inthesequel** : i have taken the liberty of planning a little get together so we can cheer john up and shove a huge metaphorical middle finger in the faces of alex and henry laurens

 **macaroni** : so y'all and hamilton aren't friends amirite

 **brah** : u rite

 **macaroni** : BUT you still insist on calling him by his insanely unoriginal nickname

 **theplacetobe** : i forgive him, kinda. but i can't trust him not to pull the same shit again and that's why we aren't speaking rn

 **macaroni** : makes sense

 **brah** : laffy taffy?

 **laffy** **taffy** : qu'est-ce que tu veux?

 **macaroni** : you're in a gc filled with people who can't speak french (apart from me) but yOU STILL INSIST

 **inthesequel** : I thought you were going to say something like, "you're in america speak english" or some other type of shit

 **macaroni** : what the fuck

 **macaroni** : i would never

 **macaroni** : how lowly do y'all think of me

 **inthesequel** : alex has been feeding us anti-jefferson propaganda for a while now so idk

 **brah** : BACK ON SUBJECT

 **brah** : @laf you okay, my dude ??

 **brah** : you've been like,, really quiet

 **laffy taffy** : non non. i'm a little bit of the fine

 **jemmy** : "a little bit of the fine" laf please

 **brah** : elaborate on that

 **laffy** **taffy** : ma mère has unfortunately fallen sick. thomas and i visited her, that is why we were so late

 **brah** : aw, poor laf

 **peggles** : i can’t believe laf took the liberty of using the little hat on the e

 **jemmy** : you mean an accent

 **inthesequel** : gilbert de lafayette

 **inthesequel** : your mother is strong and scary. she will be fine, i promise

 **saynotothis** : @angelica you said you were planning something

 **inthesequel** : ah, yes!

 **inthesequel** : @john do you want to go to the arcade, laser tag centre or we can go go karting ??

  
private messages between **hammie** and **theplacetobe**

 **hammie** : john

 **theplacetobe** : what do you want

 **hammie** : did you get my letters?

 **theplacetobe** : yes.

 **hammie** : and..?

 **theplacetobe** : i honestly don't know what i should think, alexander

 **theplacetobe** : i forgave you a while ago, it's just that i don't know if i can trust you to not do this kind of thing again

 **theplacetobe** : i don't know, i'm in the middle of a bad place right now and i don't know what to do

 **hammie** : it's fine if you don't want to continue our relationship like nothing happened or came between us

 **hammie** : all i wanted was your forgiveness and if I could have that and that alone, that would be enough

 **theplacetobe** : i am so sorry for blocking you out and kicking you out of the group chat

 **hammie** : no it's fine

 **hammie** : you had the right to be angry and i was being kind of a dick anyways

  
**group chat ~ really big squad**

**theplacetobe** : you guys

 **saynotothis** : what

 **theplacetobe** has added **hammie** into this group chat

 **hammie** : hi

 **brah** : oh. it's you

 **hammie** : just a public apology to all of y'all

 **hammie** : except for you jefferson. you're a dick

 **macaroni** : well, fuck you too

 **hammie** : if you want a more detailed apology, just ask john for the letters i sent you

 **hammie** has removed **hammie** from this group chat

 **theplacetobe** has added **hammie** into this group chat

 **hammie:** you want me to stay ??

 **hammie** : i know i've apologised and all but i almost outed you, that's gotta hurt

 **theplacetobe** : no, it's cool. my dad is suspicious but he's not sure if i'm gay or nah

 **inthesequel** : he's just about to be sent to a conversion therapy camp, nothing too extreme, you know

 **hammie** : w h a t

 **hammie** : run to the schuylers mansion

 **hammie** : this is your chance to be an honorary schuyler what the fuck are you waiting for

 **inthesequel** : do we even have the space

 **peggles** : angelica, sweetheart,,

 **peggles** : schuyler means family

 **peggles** : and family means no one gets left behind

 **elizard** : that was beautiful

 **macaroni** : this is all peaches and cream but we actually have a genuine problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! kudos and comments make me happy!!


	4. the cat invasion of ‘16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the character key:
> 
> hammie - alex  
> theplacetobe - laurens  
> brah - herc  
> laffy taffy - laf  
> macaroni - tjeffs  
> jemmy - james  
> inthesequel - angelica  
> elizard - eliza  
> peggles - peggy  
> saynotothis - maria

**recap** _:_

_**peggles** : schuyler means family_

_**peggles** : and family means no one gets left behind_

_**elizard** : that was beautiful_

_**macaroni** : this is all peaches and cream but we actually have a genuine problem_

 

**group chat ~ really big squad**

**hammie** : why do you gotta rain on everyone's parades every fucking time

 **jemmy** : stfu don't think i've forgotten about the whole jawn thing. thomas could breathe in front of you and you'd have a problem with it

 **theplacetobe** : i’m sorry the WHAT thing ??

 **macaroni** : first, thanks. second, since when did i become thomas

 **macaroni** : literally no one calls me thomas

 **jemmy** : i guess it's just me

 **laffy** **taffy** : and me!

 **jemmy** : i can't believe i'm about to say this to the purest man in the universe but

 **jemmy** : shut the fuck up

 **peggles** : wait what's the problem @jefferson

 **macaroni** : MY AUNT IS S I C K DID YALL FORGET

 **peggles** : ofc we didn't forget

 **inthesequel** : yeah buts she's ridiculously strong, she'll be fine

 **macaroni** : she. is. an. old. woman.

 **laffy** **taffy** : normally i would take offence but it is true

 **laffy** **taffy** : i am worried about her

 **laffy** **taffy** : she has been pushing me away all day, i am scared that something bad is about to happen

 **macaroni** : come over, laf

 **hammie** : wait a fucking second

 **hammie** : aren't you two related

 **macaroni** : i can't believe i am about to say this to a person who may be older than myself but

 **macaroni** : not everything has to do with sex

 **macaroni** : aren't you under the age it’s legal to have sex with someone

 **hammie** : what is even the age of legally being able to fuck in this country

 **elizard** : idk man

 **saynotothis** : where the fuck were you ??

 **elizard** : phone died, remember?

 **saynotothis** : oh yeah

 **brah** : ALEX IS WEARING A LILO AND STICH ONESIE

 **brah** : MORE SPECIFICALLY MY LILO AND STICH ONESIE

 **brah** : YOU DUMB MOTHER FUCKING T H I E F

 **brah** : SHAME

 **saynotothis** : SHAME

 **elizard** : SHAME

 **peggles** : SHAME

 **macaroni** : SHAME

 **jemmy** : SHAME

 **laffy** **taffy** : SHAME

 **theplacetobe** : SHAME

 **laffy** **taffy** : john!!

 **laffy** **taffy** : are you and alexander continuing your relationship?

 **theplacetobe** : no

 **macaroni** : ouch, you said that very certainly

 **jemmy** : of course he did you unnecessary and uneducated piece of human garbage

 **macaroni** : damn jemmy

 **macaroni** : why you gotta be like this

 **jemmy** : bc i gotta!!

 **macaroni** : that is a very good reason!!

 **jemmy** : also, do you think jemmy is my name bc it's actually james madison

 **macaroni** : okay

 **macaroni** : also mama lafayette doesn't have that much time left to live

 **laffy taffy** : why do you have to spill it all like that

 **inthesequel** : i am so sorry

 **laffy** **taffy** : it is okay

 **brah** : laffy

 **brah** : come over and let me make you rice krispy buns

 **laffy** **taffy** : with extra chocolate?

 **brah** : of course

 **laffy** **taffy** : okay! bye everyone!!

 **theplacetobe** : he's being way too chill about this

 **elizard** : yeah, that's kinda suspicious

 **macaroni** : do you know what else is fuckin suspicious

 **peggles** : please do not tell us

 **inthesequel** : we beg of you please do not

 **peggles** : while i was talking to jefferson during his holiday in france

 **peggles** : him and laf were grieving there apparently

 **hammie** : first, how tf did you know jefferson

 **hammie** : second, are you actually going to believe anything that comes out of his mouth

 **jemmy** : hamilton

 **hammie** : i am sorry okay

 **theplacetobe** : you can feel the genuine fear through those four words

 **elizard** : it's bc he knows that jemmy will roast him to hell and back

 **jemmy** : i am NOT your jemmy

 **jemmy** : there are only THREE people on this pathetic excuse of a planet who can call me that

 **jemmy** : my mother, laf and thomas

 **macaroni** : again with the first name

 **macaroni** : when people call me thomas it's usually filled with hatred

 **hammie** : i told y'all but you wouldn't believe me

 **macaroni** : hamilton has probably told you this,, but i am indeed an asshole

 **hammie** : fUCKING CALLED IT

 **laffy** **taffy** : sally: did you know that planet means wanderer in greek  
me: no i did not know that nor would i ever need to

 **brah** : that’s adorable

 **jemmy** : thomas

 **jemmy** : you're not an asshole

 **macaroni** : yeah, but ofc you’re going to think that

 **macaroni** : you're one of the few people i tolerate

 **jemmy** : !

 **elizard** : what the heck

 **jemmy** : surprised by my sudden display of genuine kindness? yeah, me too

 **elizard** : no, no, just our living room

 **inthesequel** : what happened to it

 **elizard** : nothing

 **elizard** except for the fact that it is completely cOVERED IN CATS

 **inthesequel** : i'm sorry WHAT

 **elizard** : YOU HEARD ME

 **elizard** : THE KITTIES ARE EVERYWHERE

 **inthesequel** : who could have done this ??

 **inthesequel** : ah yes, PEGGY

 **peggles** : i can't read suddenly, i don't know

 **elizard** : WHERE IS SHE

 **saynotothis** : IM CHOKIGN WHAT THE FUCK

 **inthesequel** : FHAKALCBQ

 **inthesequel** : sorry i dropped my phone and the caps lock was still on

 **brah** : fill us in, we have buns!

 **laffy** **taffy** : with the krispies inside them!

 **brah** : aw

 **inthesequel** : I THINK I SEE HER

 **inthesequel** : PEGGY SCHUYLER

 **inthesequel** : ARE YOU UNDER THE FUZZY GREY BLANKET

 **peggles** : I TOLD YOU I CANT FUCKING READ

 **elizard** : NO CURSING IN THIS CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD

 **inthesequel** : YOURE TEARING OUR FAMILY APART

 **peggles** : I AM SORRY

 **saynotothis** : what the fuck is happening

 **peggles** : so i was walking home after meeting up with my friend charlotte right

 **peggles** : and i find a stereotypical box of the KITTIES

 **inthesequel** : how fucking big was the box

 **peggles** : hella

 **saynotothis** : exact measurements by peggy schuyler

 **peggles** : anyway, i grabbed the box and brought it to my house. i tipped the box over in the living room and let them run free just like they are in the wild

 **jemmy** : the wild of what? west virginia?

 **macaroni** : we don't talk about west virginia

 **inthesequel** : THEY ARE SCRATCHING THE FURNITURE

 **peggles** : but they are adorable idk what you mean

 **inthesequel** : dad's gonna kill you when he gets home

 **elizard** : when he get’s home? he’s already here

 **peggles** : what

 **elizard** : he's unlocking the door

 **peggles** : shit oh fucking shit someone help

 **elizard** : he's hanging his jacket on the coat rack

 **brah** : isn't it summer

 **elizard** : he's always cold

 **elizard** : his hands are on the doorknob

 **elizard** : "WHAT THE HE—"

 **laffy** **taffy** : wait what happened

 **elizard** : one of the cats went straight for his face

 **peggles** : lmao it was great

 **peggles** : ellie just likes shiny things and his bald head is particularly shiny

 **elizard** : i'm crying the cat has a name

 **peggles** : she was named after you

 **elizard** : that’s wonderful!

 **inthesequel** : is there a cat named after me?

 **peggles** : yes! her name is lina!! short for angelina!!!

 **inthesequel** : thank!

 **peggles** : welc!

 **jemmy** : y'all might want to hear this lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we’re getting a new character in the next chapter! in case you did not know, i update every two days. kudos and nice comments make me happy!


	5. john laurens’ moving in party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> character key:  
> hammie - alex  
> theplacetobe - laurens  
> brah - herc  
> laffy taffy - laf  
> macaroni - tjeffs  
> jemmy - james  
> inthesequel - angelica  
> elizard - eliza  
> peggles - peggy  
> saynotothis - maria  
> notdorothy - dolley

**recap** :

_**inthesequel** : is there a cat named after me_

_**peggles** : her name is lina! short for angelina!_

_**inthesequel** : thank!_

_**peggles** : welc!_

_**jemmy** : y'all might want to hear this lmao_

  
**group chat ~ really big squad**

**macaroni** : hear what

 **jemmy** : my dumbass friend messed with the wrong person i am screeching

 **jemmy** : i'm currently in the mall buying a birthday gift for someone and my friend's phone number is spray painted on the wall

 **hammie** : how tf do you remember her phone number

 **jemmy** : i kinda have to since she's my number one emergency contact and i'm prone to seizures and fainting in the most random places. i usually remember bc once or twice a month i wake up to some overly cheerful nurse reciting that fucking phone number so i gotta remember

 **hammie** : you know what, forget i asked

 **jemmy** : don't worry, i will

 **theplacetobe** : saltiness is james' most prominent quality

 **jemmy** : am i meant to feel insulted or not

 **elizard** : i don't know, my dude

 **theplacetobe** : energetic-ness is alex's. protectiveness is angelica's. assholry is thomas'

 **jemmy** : i would fight you but you're probably right

 **macaroni** : jemmy please

 **theplacetobe** : AS I WAS SAYING

 **theplacetobe** : kindness is eliza's. funniness is peggy's. cuddliness is herc's. cuteness is laf's

 **laffy** **taffy** : thanks!!

 **brah** : what about yours

 **theplacetobe** : all of the above

 **macaroni** : all of them ??

 **theplacetobe** : all of them except for yours

 **macaroni** : of fucking course

 **jemmy** : also,,

 **jemmy** has added **notdorothy** to this group chat

 **macaroni** : is this your dumbass friend

 **notdorothy** : Is this a cult

 **notdorothy** : Also shut up you piece of cheesy pasta

 **jemmy** : very creative

 **jemmy** : this is dolley, y'all

 **elizard** : hi, dolley! i'm eliza!

 **notdorothy** : Hey

 **notdorothy** : Wait does macaroni happen to be Thomas Jefferson

 **macaroni** : depends if your surname is payne or not

 **inthesequel** : how could you tell by his username?? i'm angelica by the way

 **notdorothy** : Hi Angelica!

 **notdorothy** : Also my surname is in fact Payne

 **notdorothy** : You owe me an apology

 **macaroni** : sorry for accidentally pushing your boyfriend down the stairs and then pouring cake batter onto his unconscious body

 **peggles** : "accidentally"

 **notdorothy** : I will accept your apology

 **brah** : okay this need more context

 **macaroni** : which you will never receive

 **inthesequel** : anyways

 **inthesequel** : to celebrate john laurens

 **theplacetobe** : that's me!

 **inthesequel** : moving into schuyler mansion bc of someone

 **hammie** : that's me

 **inthesequel** : we have decided to play truth or dare with ALCOHOL

 **elizard** : aNGIE NO

 **inthesequel** : take a gulp every time you fail to do something

 **inthesequel** : underage people will be forced to do another dare instead of drinking

 **inthesequel** : START

 **laffy taffy** : @john do you still love alex

 **theplacetobe** : IM CHUGGING IT

 **hammie** : say that to the tune of the macdonalds jingle

 **theplacetobe** : james how did you meet thomas and are you two dating or nah

 **jemmy** : we met on this mess of a group chat actually

 **jemmy** : and we are not dating

 **jemmy** : @alex strip naked and step outside your doorstep for two seconds

 **macaroni** : he went for the kill

 **hammie** : my foster dad is in the lounge, i'd prefer not to

 **hammie** : but i have no alcohol to drink so imma do it anyways

 **hammie** : "ALEXANDER WHAT" - mr benedict arnold

 **peggles** : IM SCREECHING WHAT THE FUCK ALEX

 **notdorothy** : That was intense

 **hammie** : i am the definition of intense

 **inthesequel** : excuse you

 **inthesequel** : have you even met me

 **hammie** : shouldn't have spoken angelica, i'm coming for you next

 **hammie** : spill some of an alcoholic drink on the floor, get into a yoga bridge form and lick the floor upside down

 **notdorothy** : Is that even humanely possible

 **peggles** : IM CACKLING SHE ACTUALLY DID IT

 **elizard** : she also vomited onto the floor besides it and almost broke her neck but you forget that don't you

 **peggles** : yeah, she's still throwing up

 **peggles** : okay she's done

 **inthesequel** : @death take me now

 **inthesequel** : LAFY

 **notdorothy** : Is she actually drunk already

 **elizard** : it was a lot of alcohol and it was really strong. she’s just tipsy tho

 **laffy taffy** : what do you want

 **inthesequel** : is it tru that you oncew grnded ln herc for a solid ten mintes then proceeded to throw up on hsi face

 **brah** : laf didn't say anything he just stood up and walked out

 **brah** : he's back with some cranberry juice and vodka

 **laffy** **taffy** : i regret so much

 **laffy** **taffy** : @thomas jefferson

 **macaroni** : sweet jesus

 **laffy** **taffy** : what is the weirdest thing you have ever done for a significant other ??

 **macaroni** : attempted to entertain her strange daddy kink until it got too much and i left

 **hammie** : i think she was trying to drag you into ddlg

 **macaroni** : it got worse

 **jemmy** : so you're straight, then ?

 **macaroni** : if you are gonna insult me, i'm gonna leave

 **macaroni** : i am not straight don't you dare assume

 **jemmy** : oh okay

 **macaroni** : worried you wouldn't have a chance?

 **jemmy** : shut the fuck up

 **macaroni** : @eliza what have you done here that people would judge you for the most

 **elizard** : thomas

 **elizard** : my bro

 **elizard** : my dude

 **elizard** : i'm not some weird kinkster. the most judgemental thing i have ever done is laughing at one of those minion memes made by middle aged moms on facebook

 **peggles** : ew

 **peggles** : begone, satan

 **inthesequel** : another judgemental thing she's done is fucking deborah sampson in the school bathroom last year

 **elizard** : that was confidential

 **elizard** : @herc

 **elizard** : you're with the rest of the rev set are you not

 **brah** : yeah, we chilling at alex's

 **elizard** : pull down your trousers and play a song by tapping on your butt cheeks. see who guesses which song it is.

 **brah** : what kinda demon has possessed you today

 **notdorothy** : Speaking of Black Panther

 **brah** : literally no one mentioned wakanda

 **notdorothy** : I'm partially blind so I use a screen reader sometimes. It just happened to sound like wakanda

 **brah** : oh, sorry

 **brah** : anyways, @eliza i'm not doing your weird ass dare

 **brah** : pass the drink john

 **theplacetobe** : sure

 **macaroni** : wait a damn second

 **macaroni** : didn't alexander just say that he had no alcohol

 **theplacetobe** : oh, yeah, bout that

 **theplacetobe** : alcohol doesn't sit well with him so he prefers to avoid it at all costs

 **hammie** : my bio dad was an alcoholic and very mean so

 **theplacetobe** : sorry

 **brah** : PEGGY YOURE NEXT

 **peggles** : wAIT NO

 **macaroni** : sorry to cut into your happiness but we got some news and it ain't good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> give kudos and type out a comment if you liked this chapter!


	6. alexander is a useless paperclip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> character key:  
> hammie - alex  
> theplacetobe - laurens  
> brah - herc  
> laffy taffy - laf  
> macaroni - tjeffs  
> jemmy - james  
> inthesequel - angelica  
> elizard - eliza  
> peggles - peggy  
> saynotothis - maria  
> notdorothy - dolley

**recap** :

 **brah** : PEGGY YOURE NEXT

 **peggles** : wAIT NO

 **macaroni** : sorry to cut into your happiness but we got some news and it ain't good

 

  
**group chat ~ really big squad**

 **jemmy** : wait what happened

 **laffy** **taffy** : ma mère is... not in a good state right now

 **laffy taffy** : thomas and i have been speaking to her on the phone ever since we returned from france but she was not doing very well

 **elizard** : okay please just tell us everything, you're scaring me

 **laffy taffy** : she was... briefly dying

 **hammie** : what do you mean she was briefly dying?

 **laffy taffy** : she was briefly dying and now she's dead

 **theplacetobe** : are you okay? do you need anything?

 **laffy taffy** : non non, it's fine

 **inthesequel** : i am.... speechless

 **peggles** : laf are you still there

 **notdorothy** : I am so sorry

 **laffy taffy** : we found out yesterday but i only wanted to tell you guys when i was calm

 **hammie** : what about you @tjeffs

 **macaroni** : i haven't felt emotions in seven years

 **macaroni** : but seriously, i was with laf

 **laffy taffy** has changed his name to **sad laf**

 **sad laf** : we have to go back to france in four hours for an emergency family meeting

 **jemmy** : is thomas coming with you

 **sad laf** : he's family james

 **macaroni** : there's no one to take care of sally and adri who are both underage so we have to make plans about what to do from there

 **jemmy** : i hope nothing else goes wrong

 **sad laf** : me too

  
**hammie** has created a group chat

 **hammie** has added **jemmy, elizard, peggles, theplacetobe, inthesequel, jemmy, brah, saynotothis** and **notdorothy** to this group chat

 **hammie** has named the group chat **for sad laf and co**

 **peggles** : why does this exist

 **hammie** : bc of an ancient prophecy foretold a century ago

 **theplacetobe** : alexander please

 **hammie** : so, as you may know, laf and jefferson are hella sad bc laf's mother is unfortunately dead

 **inthesequel** : i remember it very vividly

 **inthesequel** : i really liked mama lafayette

 **elizard** : me too

 **brah** : are they already on the plane or on their way there or something

 **hammie** : i'm not actually sure

 **hammie** : we are going to leave them alone for a bit so they can solve their family issues

 **notdorothy** : Not trying to be rude or anything but why did you make a new group chat just to fill us in

 **hammie** : i'm getting to that my dearest dorothy

 **notdorothy** : Try to read and understand my username you useless paperclip

 **jemmy** : how.... unique

 **hammie** : anyways, we are going to be planning a pity party when they come back and it's going to be fuckin awesome

 **peggles** : sounds cool n all but do you actually know when they are coming back

 **peggles** : so we can prepare in advance

 **hammie** : good idea peggles

 **hammie** : i'm making you my right hand woman

 **peggles** : yay

 **hammie** : but seriously, does anyone know when they are going to be back

 **jemmy** : they'll be back in four days

 **hammie** : that's plenty of time if we work quickly

 **theplacetobe** : if you work quickly you can probably finish in two hours

 **theplacetobe** : don't even try to lie, i've seen you typing an essay for that college professor who came in to lecture us

 **brah** : you mean professor franklin

 **theplacetobe** : yes

 **brah** : he hardly counts as a professor, he's a three year old trapped in a man's body

 **brah** : anyways, i've been texting laf and he's really upset

 **brah** : y'all better work quickly

 **jemmy** : "y'all" ??

 **jemmy** : you're in this group chat, you're one of us now

 **peggles** : ONE OF US

 **elizard** : ONE OF US

 **notdorothy** : ONE OF US

 **inthesequel** : ONE OF US

 **hammie** : ONE OF US

 **theplacetobe** : ONE OF US

 **hammie** : okay so i'm giving everyone jobs to do is that cool with all of you guys

 **theplacetobe** : no

 **brah** : no

 **inthesequel** : no

 **notdorothy** : Yes

 **elizard** : no

 **hammie** : you're outnumbered by the supreme being that has been reincarnated as dolley payne! i'm giving everyone jobs now!

 **hammie** : james and herc, your job is to distract the hell out of jefferson and laf. make sure they don't notice us planning something

 **jemmy** : why do we have to do

 **jemmy** : oh

 **hammie** : eliza and peggy will find a place where we would host our pity party and they would decorate that place to the max

 **hammie** : by "place where we would host" it, i mean schuyler mansion

 **jemmy** : we should break into monticello and do it there, it's much bigger

 **hammie** : how do you know where tjeffs lives if you've only seen him in this gc

 **jemmy** : !

 **jemmy** : okay we meet outside of this chat occasionally

 **jemmy** : sometimes

 **jemmy** : often

 **hammie** : john and i would arrange food

 **hammie** : dolley and angelica are in charge of inviting as many people that we are actually friends with!!

 **hammie** : the last bit is super important!

 **hammie** : remember the last bit, especially you ANGELICA

 **inthesequel** : IT WAS ONE TIME

 **notdorothy** : Wait what happened

 **hammie** : only the fact that she once invited john adams and james monroe and the rest of their pathetic group of friends

 **inthesequel** : I APOLOGISED

 **theplacetobe** : wasn't jefferson once friends with john adams and his friends

 **hammie** : i wouldn't put it past him tbh

 **jemmy** : actually

 **jemmy** : some people have a thing called homophobic conservative parents that force their children to do things they do not wish to do, a concept that YOU do not understand

 **hammie** : why do y'all gotta bring it up

 **inthesequel** : i love this song

 **elizard** : why do you talk like stan twitter

 **inthesequel** : i do not talk like stan twitter how fucking dare you

 **inthesequel** : i would expect this from peggy but not from you, my dearest sister who i used to love with all of my heart

 **peggles** : "used to" i'm cackling

 **hammie** : angelica's stan twitter, i'm scottish twitter and thomas is black twitter

 **jemmy** : i would argue with you but you are actually right

  
private message between **hammie** and **saynotothis**

 **hammie** : you have to press charges

 **saynotothis** : no

 **saynotothis** : if i try and the case doesn't go well he will legitimately attempt to murder me

 **hammie** : don't worry, i have an idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! kudos and comments make me very happy!


	7. the greatest pity party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> character key:  
> hammie - alex  
> theplacetobe - laurens  
> brah - herc  
> laffy taffy - laf  
> macaroni - tjeffs  
> jemmy - james  
> inthesequel - angelica  
> elizard - eliza  
> peggles - peggy  
> saynotothis - maria  
> tippy - adrienne  
> hemingway - sally  
> notdorothy - dolley

**recap** :

_**hammie** : anyways, we are going to be planning a pity party when they come back and it's going to be fuckin awesome_

_**peggles** : sounds cool n all but do you actually know when they are coming back_

 

**group chat ~ really big squad**

**jemmy** : yo, when are we going to pick them up from the airport

 **hammie** : wait that's today

 **theplacetobe** : you literally spent hours planning a pity party for them but you forget when they are coming back alexander why

 **hammie** : i told you, i've been super stressed. i have an essay due soon and i'm just about done

 **theplacetobe** : when is it due

 **hammie** : !

 **theplacetobe** : alexander

 **theplacetobe** : when is it due

 **hammie** : two weeks

 **theplacetobe** : then wHY THE FUCK

 **theplacetobe** : you're lucky i love you

 **theplacetobe** : wait

 **theplacetobe** has removed **theplacetobe** from this group chat

 **hammie** : !!!!

 **peggles** : should we bring him back or smth

 **notdorothy** : That might be a good idea, i'll add him

 **notdorothy** has added **theplacetobe** to this group chat

 **inthesequel** : sure, thank you

 **peggles** : it's not like she was talking to me or anything like that

 **notdorothy** : Shut the fuck up Peggy. Also, you're welcome, Angie

 **peggles** : A N G I E

 **elizard** : they getting serious

 **elizard** : also, ido not wish to alarm you but where is maria

 **inthesequel** : i honestly don't know

 **inthesequel** : if you and one other person go and check up on her that'll be lovely

 **elizard** : okay!

 **elizard** : alexander i nominate you

 **hammie** : okay, can you come over to mine then you can show me the way to her house

 **elizard** : okay !!

 **brah** : who's going to pick them up from the airport

 **peggles** : not me. can anyone in this group chat even drive

 **inthesequel** : jefferson and john can drive

 **brah** : john i can see you creeping

 **brah** : i know you are a little embarrassed after accidentally professing your love for our favourite piece of ham but it's nothing to be worried about

 **theplacetobe** : you know what

 **theplacetobe** : fuck you

 **brah** : drive me and jemmy to the airport then we will forget about the whole thing

 **hammie** : ***you will forget about the whole thing

 **jemmy** : jemmy ??

 **jemmy** : never heard of him

 **brah** : ***james

 **inthesequel** : peggy

 **peggles** : yes?

 **inthesequel** : i have two very important questions

 **inthesequel** : where the FUCK are the cats ??

 **peggles** : ah, yes, the kitties

 **peggles** : me and dad took them to a no kill shelter

 **inthesequel** : all of them?

 **peggles** : all of them

 **inthesequel** : i also want to know if you and eliza decorated schuyler mansion

 **peggles** : actually, we did not

 **inthesequel** : w h y

 **peggles** : we kind of assumed you were meant to help us but you never showed up

 **inthesequel** : why would i help you ? me and dolley already had a job

 **peggles** : maybe because you live with us

 **sad** **laf** : we are back

 **peggles** : LAF

 **sad laf** : oui oui my friend it is i

 **sad laf** : wait a minute

 **sad** **laf** has changed his name to **laffy** **taffy**

 **laffy**   **taffy** : i have none of the sadness left inside me

 **brah** : wonderful!

 **laffy** **taffy** : herc! i missed you!

 **notdorothy** : Are you two dating or something

 **brah** : yeah

 **laffy** **taffy** : yes

 **theplacetobe** : wait you two are actually dating ??

 **theplacetobe** : i thought you were joking

 **laffy** **taffy** : we have been dating for a few months now

 **macaroni** : we solved the sally and adrienne problem

 **inthesequel** : how?

 **macaroni** : we brought them here

 **macaroni** has added **hemingway** to this group chat

 **macaroni** has added **adri** to this group chat

 **macaroni** : introduce yourselves

 **hemingway** : hey! i'm sally hemings! i write occasionally that's why my username is hemingway because of my main man ernest. i like the colour blue and fluffy socks.

 **macaroni** : yes, you are a writer but you do not know how to use capital letters

 **jemmy** : shut up you macaroni fucker

 **macaroni** : !

 **adri** : hi, i'm adrienne de lafayette!

 **adri** : wait

 **adri** has changed her name to **tippy**

 **tippy** : okay i'm ready. i like the colour purple and bunnies and tap dancing!

 **elizard** : that's great!

 **elizard** : not to ruin your good mood but maria is in a bad state

 **hemingway** : this was a bad idea to join wasn't it

 **elizard** : no, it's cool!

 **elizard** : her ex boyfriend did a number on her, she's currently at the washington's

 

private messages between **brah** and **laffy taffy**

 

 **laffy taffy** : hercules

 **brah** : yeah?

 **laffy taffy** : i have some news

 **brah** : bad news?

 **laffy taffy** : not? really? i do not know

 **laffy taffy** : i got banned from the smoothie place down the road

 **brah** : oh

 **laffy taffy** : i am so sorry about it, i know we were meant to have our next date there

 **brah** : no, it's cool

 **brah** : may i ask how you got banned?

 **laffy taffy** : some lady started harassing me about my makeup so i threw my smoothie at her

 **laffy** **taffy** : i feel bad. it was a strawberry one and it was really good

 **brah** : it's fine. just give me her address, i'll fight her

 **laffy taffy** : non, it is fine

 **laffy taffy** : i would kill to become a 19th century immigrant confusing the americans with my fabulous cross dressing

 **brah** : very specific

 **brah** : you've already gotten some of it done

 **laffy** **taffy** : yes, i know

  
**group chat ~ really big squad**

  
**hammie** : me and eliza are going to visit maria, anyone else want to come?

 **brah** : this means we can't have our pity party right

 **inthesequel** : we'll just move the food to the washington's, decorations are not necessary right now

 **inthesequel** : we shouldn't invite anyone apart from the people in this group chat

 **tippy** : do sally and i count as the people in this group chat

 **peggles** : of course!

 **jemmy** : me and thomas have something to tell you but it's actually good news so yay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!


	8. thomas ain’t patriotic, thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> character key:  
> hammie - alex  
> theplacetobe - laurens  
> brah - herc  
> laffy taffy - laf  
> macaroni - tjeffs  
> jemmy - james  
> inthesequel - angelica  
> elizard - eliza  
> peggles - peggy  
> saynotothis - maria  
> tippy - adrienne  
> hemingway - sally  
> notdorothy - dolley

**recap** :

_**tippy** : do sally and i count as the people in this group chat_

_**peggles** : of course!_

_**jemmy** : me and thomas have something to tell you but it's actually good news so yay_

  
**group chat ~ really big squad**

 **peggles** : lemme take a wild guess

 **peggles** : you dating ??

 **macaroni** : we dating

 **hemingway** : even i saw it coming and i've only known jemmy for a solid day

 **jemmy** : jemmy isn't actually my name, if you didn't know that already. it's james madison

 **tippy** : well, we've technically known him for five days bc jefferson wouldn't stop going on and on about his precious madison

 **macaroni** : shut the fuck up

 **jemmy** : no, no, no, let her keep on talking

 **tippy** : her?

 **macaroni** : her?

 **laffy taffy** : her?

 **hemingway** : her?

 **jemmy** : what is this

 **tippy** : i'm actually non binary, it's just this stupid app only uses binary genders when you're registering so i rolled with female

 **jemmy** : oh okay. sorry about that

 **tippy** : it's cool

 **saynotothis** : y'all, i lived, bitch

 **peggles** : maria!

 **inthesequel** : where the fuck were you?

 **saynotothis** : in a bit of trouble with my ex

 **saynotothis** : apparently the washington's have considered taking me in, my social worker says it isn't safe for me to stay with mr revere bc he didn't notice this whole fiasco with reynolds going on

 **inthesequel** : makes sense

 **notdorothy** : Angie

 **inthesequel** : yeah?

 **notdorothy** : Could you come over? My parents are bringing me to the arcade for my baby sisters birthday and I am allowed to bring one more person

 **inthesequel** : of course

 **inthesequel** : i'll meet you in your house, yeah?

 **notdorothy** : Sure

 **theplacetobe** : me and alex are going to be missing it

 **saynotothis** : what tf is 'it'

 **brah** : ah, yes, you're a newbie

 **elizard** : on the third day of every month we have a horror movie night

 **laffy taffy** : you bring your jammies and your fear

 **brah** : 'jammies' aw you're too cute

 **laffy** **taffy** : thank you!

 **peggles** : wait today is the third right

 **elizard** : yes

 **peggles** : and tomorrow is the fourth

 **elizard** : where are you going with this

 **peggles** : and what's the month we're in

 **elizard** : it's july oH MY GOD

 **peggles** : EXACTLY MY GOOD BITCH

 **laffy** **taffy** : TOMORROW IS THE FOURTH OF JULY ?!?!

 **macaroni** : 'MURICA

 **brah** : GET THE FUCK OUT WITH YOUR PATRIOTIC BULLSHIT

 **macaroni** : i am not patriotic

 **macaroni** : my loyalty lies within france and jemmy

 **laffy** **taffy** : thanks

 **macaroni** : france isn't code for lafayette my dude

 **laffy** **taffy** : i take back my thanks

 **brah** : are y'all going to come to the schuyler mansion or not

 **peggles** : actually me, sally and jemmy are waiting outside monticello

 **peggles** : jefferson wouldn't let us in for some reason

 **tippy** : no??? we are at the washington's ???

 **elizard** : let's just go to monticello, it's bigger

 **macaroni** : monticello is currently being overrun by rats so no one can really stay there

 **peggles** : if monticello is being taken over by the rats then where the fuck are you

 **macaroni** : in my room with the door barricaded

 **macaroni** : i'm not coming to open the door. peggy, jemmy and sally can go home

 **jemmy** : yo thomas

 **jemmy** : just wanted to say that you have a weird ass bed

 **peggles** : how do you know how his bed looks like

 **jemmy** : it's in the wrong place, it's a little hard to miss it

 **jemmy** : he has two. one is in an alcove and the other one is just in the middle of his study

 **hammie** : in the middle of his study?

 **jemmy** : just right in the centre. you enter the room and it is there, silently judging you for your fashion sense

 **macaroni** : you can miss the bed, it blends into the background very easily

 **jemmy** : the mattress itself is bright fucking pink how the FUCK can you not miss it??

 **tippy** : let's just go to the schuyler mansion, bring candy and your pyjamas

 **laffy** **taffy** : and your fear don't forget it. it is very important

 **peggles** : we about to get scared BITCHES

  
private messages between **theplacetobe** and **hammie**

 **theplacetobe** : so, alex

 **theplacetobe** : i am a little worried

 **hammie** : perfectly understandable

 **theplacetobe** : i don't get it

 **theplacetobe** : why would he even want to talk to me? i left before he could figure it all out and officially kick me out, what does he even want

 **hammie** : i don't know

 **hammie** : are you sure you want me to come along with you

 **theplacetobe** : why wouldn't i be okay with it ?

 **hammie** : well, the last time i met your father i told him a little more than i should have

 **hammie** : aren't you worried that i might run my mouth again?

 **theplacetobe** : i'm pretty sure he already knows. there's not much more harm anyone could do

 **hammie** : you know when i told you that i didn't care if we didn't get back together, that i just wanted your forgiveness??

 **theplacetobe** : i remember that very clearly

 **hammie** : i lied

 **hammie** : john, i love you

 **hammie** : john?

 **hammie** : okay then

  
private messages between **inthesequel** and **theplacetobe**

 **theplacetobe** : i kinda fucked up something

 **inthesequel** : dude, i'm with dolley, I told you not to text me

 **theplacetobe** : yeah but this kinda important

 **inthesequel** : more important than dolley payne ??

 **inthesequel** : as if

 **theplacetobe** : but seriously

 **theplacetobe** : alex said that he loves me

 **theplacetobe** : he LOVES me!!

 **theplacetobe** : and he wants to date me again i don't know what to do

 **inthesequel** : okay, first, use your head not your heart

 **inthesequel** : in percentage, what are the chances of alexander hurting you again

 **theplacetobe** : i'm going to go with a 45 percent chance of him pulling that shit again

 **inthesequel** : now, in percent, how much do you like him

 **theplacetobe** : 90%

 **inthesequel** : how much do you think he likes you

 **theplacetobe** : well, he said he loves me so i'm going to go with 90%

 **theplacetobe** : angie?

 **inthesequel** : i think you should go for it

  
private messages between **theplacetobe** and **hammie**

 **theplacetobe** : alexander

 **hammie** : yes?

 **theplacetobe** : i love you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cried while writing this. kudos and comments keep me happy.
> 
> edit: half of the chapter got deleted but i got it back so it’s ok


	9. m-m-monopoly night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> character key:  
> hammie - alex  
> theplacetobe - laurens  
> brah - herc  
> laffy taffy - laf  
> macaroni - tjeffs  
> jemmy - james  
> inthesequel - angelica  
> elizard - eliza  
> peggles - peggy  
> saynotothis - maria  
> tippy - adrienne  
> hemingway - sally  
> notdorothy - dolley

**recap** :

_**theplacetobe** : alexander_

_**hammie** : yes?_

_**theplacetobe** : i love you too_

 

  
**group chat ~ really big squad**

 **macaroni** : HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY BITCHES

 **hemingway** : ew america

 **hammie** : ew jefferson

 **jemmy** : hi, thanks for checking in, hamilton's still a piece of garbage

 **hammie** : why do you always have to do this to me

 **jemmy** : y'all know that i'm chill with anyone else insulting thomas but not you

 **jemmy** : when you insult him you actually mean it and that's not nice

 **hammie** : okay, seems fair

 **hammie** : happy fourth of july by the way

 **jemmy** : you're still not in my good graces no matter how much you try to

 **notdorothy** : Ouch ouch oUCH

 **inthesequel** : dolley

 **notdorothy** : Yeah?

 **inthesequel** : me and my sisters are going to be playing just dance at our house in like, an hour or something like that

 **inthesequel** : do you want to come

 **notdorothy** : Sure

 **notdorothy** : But on one condition

 **inthesequel** : whatever you want

 **notdorothy** : I want to pick the songs we will dance to

 **brah** : this is cute an all but why would you have a conversation between the two of you in a gROUP CHAT

 **inthesequel** : to give everyone more context??

 **brah** : everyone?

 **brah** : there's like, ten people in this group chat

 **hammie** : actually, there's thirteen people

 **brah** : where the fuck did you come from

 **brah** : i thought james finally murdered you

 **notdorothy** : Ouch ouch oUCH

 **hemingway** : i feel like you sprout up out of nowhere just to say this

 **notdorothy** : I do

 **peggles** : does anyone want donuts?

 **peggles** : there's a new donut place opening up near schuyler mansion, aND THEY DO HOME DELIVERIES WHAT

 **peggles** : and i accidentally ordered 40 extra donuts so please come over and take them

 **tippy** : pm me directions please

 **peggles** : sure

 **hemingway** : peggy peggy wait a damn minute

 **peggles** : what

 **hemingway** : what did you call that thing

 **peggles** : the donuts ??

 **hemingway** : excuse me, i am a writer™ and therefore i make up the laws of the english language and i say that's it's NOT FUCKING CALLED A DONUT

 **peggles** : then what do you think it is then?

 **hemingway** : A DOUGHNUT

 **hemingway** : IT IS CALLED A  
D O U G H N U T

 **hemingway** : D O U G H N U T

 **hemingway** : DO YOU HEAR ME

 **peggles** : I HEAR YOU

 **hemingway** : IM SORRY WHAT DID YOU SAY ??

 **peggles** : D O U G H N U T S

 **hemingway** : thank you for coming to my ted talk

 **hemingway** : it has been fun educating another member of our society

 **hemingway** : ms peggy schuyler is now a changed woman

 **hammie** : this is great and all but i have one single and very very important question to ask another member of our society

 **peggles** : go ahead

 **hammie** : @john are we dating now or what

 **brah** : woah woah when the fuck did this happen

 **theplacetobe** : yesterday

 **theplacetobe** : also, do you want us to be technically dating or

 **hammie** : i'd like that

 **theplacetobe** : i'd like that too

 **hemingway** : i'm going to write fanfiction about you two

 **macaroni** : sally what the fuck

 **theplacetobe** : IM CHOKIGN WHAT THE HELL

 **hemingway** : it's just to practise my writing skills. i'll send it to john and alex and no one else to see if it's accurate

 **hammie** : wait are you going to write about the dinner with henry laurens

 **hemingway** : of course. it'll be a good way to practise writing angst

 **inthesequel** : are we going to have a firework display ??

 **laffy taffy** : i do not know if we even have fireworks

 **elizard** : i heard that francis kinloch is having one

 **theplacetobe** : can we not go

 **elizard** : theo bartow and aaron burr are having one, we can go there if you like

 **brah** : isn't aaron burr the guy who jumped out of a two storey building to avoid john adams

 **hammie** : he likes to pretend he isn't extra but he actually is

 **brah** : he also likes to pretend you don't exist

 **hammie** : he goes out of his way to ignore me

 **hammie** : it's strange

 **macaroni** : now sit down and think about why that may happen

 **hammie** : why is james madison not sprouting out of nowhere to defend my honour?

 **jemmy** : i'm on vacation

 **hammie** : y'all watch this

 **hammie** : thomas jefferson is a superficial idiot

 **jemmy** : shut the fuck up you burnt potato chip

 **brah** : isn't that a vine

 **peggles** : aNYWAYS

 **peggles** : HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY YOU GUYS

 **peggles** : LET US RUN TO THE PLACE THAT AARON BURR AND THEO BARTOW ARE HAVING THE FIREWORK DISPLAY

 **tippy** : and where is that, exactly ?

 **peggles** : I WILL PM YOU THE ADDRESS

 **peggles** : ONWARDS MY NOBLE STEEDS

 

**group chat ~ rev set**

**theplacetobe** : since we are all tipsy let's head over to the schuylers for M-M-M-MONOPOLY NIGHT

 **theplacetobe** : *horns in the distance*

 **hammie** : STOP WHATEVER THIS IS

 **theplacetobe** : YOU SAY THIS EVERY FOURTH OF JULY BUT YOU END UP DOING IT ANYWAYS

 **brah** : every fourth of july it ends badly

 **brah** : but we do it anyways bc we are dumbasses who have no sense of self control

 **laffy** **taffy** : who's coming

 **hammie** : everyone in that giant fucking group chat how many times do we have to make this clear

 **laffy** **taffy** : oh

 **brah** : you're so mean! apologise you dick

 **hammie** : he called me a dick!

 **hammie** : john, defend my honour!

 **theplacetobe** : maybe later idk

 **brah** : okay, let's just start the game

 **brah** : laf, roll the dice first

 **hammie** : it's a die you uneducated fucker

 **laffy** **taffy** : i got a three!!

 **laffy** **taffy** : oh, it is kind of cheap, i will buy it

 **theplacetobe** : my turn

 **theplacetobe** : oh

 **theplacetobe** : three.

 **laffy** **taffy** : hand over the money john

 **theplacetobe** : you know what? fuck you

 **theplacetobe** has removed **theplacetobe** from this group chat

 **hammie** has added **theplacetobe** to this group chat

 **hammie** : we literally just started, you can't have a rage quit now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments make me really happy!!  
> also, there was a glitch on the app i store this fic on and the app made it look like this whole fic got deleted and i burst into tears on the spot. it was traumatising


	10. a.schuy’s crisis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> character key:  
> hammie - alex  
> theplacetobe - laurens  
> brah - herc  
> laffy taffy - laf  
> macaroni - tjeffs  
> jemmy - james  
> inthesequel - angelica  
> elizard - eliza  
> peggles - peggy  
> saynotothis - maria  
> tippy - adrienne  
> hemingway - sally  
> notdorothy - dolley  
> muffin - theo

**recap** :

_**theplacetobe** has removed **theplacetobe** from this group chat_

_**hammie** has added **theplacetobe** to this group chat_

_**hammie** : we literally just started, you can't have a rage quit now_

**group chat ~ schuyler sisters**

**inthesequel** : i have a very big problem

 **elizard** : what is it? let me help you.

 **inthesequel** : am i gay?

 **peggles** : what the actual fuck is that meant to mean

 **inthesequel** : it's exactly how it sounds like, am i fucking gay??

 **peggles** : i dunno, ARE YOU

 **elizard** : you do know that it is nothing to be ashamed about, right?

 **inthesequel** : of course i know that

 **peggles** : you were the last straight person in the main group chat, that had to change

 **inthesequel** : i know, i know, but...

 **inthesequel** : i thought i was straight for so long, it just feels a little strange

 **elizard** : wait a heckin minute

 **elizard** : who made you realise your sudden gayness

 **inthesequel** : i'm not saying shit

 **inthesequel** : i trust you n all but I don't trust you to tell her

 **peggles** : it's dolley isn't it

 **inthesequel** : yes.

 **inthesequel** : how did you guess ??

 **elizard** : y'all spend too much time together

 **elizard** : besides, it's in the tags

 **peggles** : what

 **elizard** : what

 **inthesequel** : what

 **peggles** : anyways, are you going to tell her that you like her ??

 **inthesequel** : who do you think i am?

 **inthesequel** : of course i am not going to tell her, i'm not a fucking gryffindor or anything

 **inthesequel** : besides she might be straight

 **peggles** : don't you remember me saying something about how you used to be the last straight person in our way too big group chat

 **inthesequel** : uh... yes?

 **peggles** : that includes dolley, my dude

 **elizard** : so go get her!

 **elizard** : i'm sure she likes you too

 **inthesequel** : i'll ask her out next year maybe

 **peggles** : A N G E L I C A    
S C H U Y L E R

  
**group chat ~ really big squad**

  
**tippy** : y'all i've got a story to tell

 **brah** : wonderful use of the word "y'all"

 **macaroni** : what is it this time

 **tippy** : stop being mean and let me tell my story

 **tippy** : so i was walking my little bunny in the park

 **hammie** : bunny

 **hammie** : you were walking your....bunny

 **tippy** : ...

 **tippy** : yes!

 **tippy** : and this really tall girl skips in front of me in the ice cream queue and she has lovely bright pink hair in these teeny tiny plaits so of course i noticed her

 **tippy** : after i get my ice cream (it was raspberry!) she drags me off to the side and then KISSES ME for no reason what so ever then she leaves

 **theplacetobe** : is this relevant bc i really don't want to hear this

 **laffy taffy** : aw adri is so cute

 **tippy** : yes it is be patient my children

 **tippy** : and thank you laf! you're cute as well!

 **tippy** : so i was looking for some money to give to the pet shop guy

 **tippy** : and my puss wasn't there!!

 **brah** : excuse me WHAT

 **elizard** : i think you mean purse

 **tippy** : HECKIN AUTOCORRECT

 **tippy** : the girl robbed me! my money is gone!

 **peggles** : i think i know who this is

 **peggles** has added **muffin** to this group chat

 **peggles** : EXPLAIN YOURSELF YOU H E A T H E N

 **muffin** : i'm sorry! i didn't know this chick knew you

 **tippy** : this chick is right here and you robbed me!

 **tippy** : plus i'm not exactly a chick, i'm non binary please respect that thanks

 **muffin** : oh okay

 **peggles** : it's really easy to spot you bc of your hair

 **muffin** : i should probably take the braids out but the effort tho

 **muffin** : anyways, i'm theo bartow! i like baked goods (muffins are the best) and stealing from people!!

 **tippy** : i'm still not forgiving you

 **muffin** : sorry

 **tippy** : you are immediately forgiven!

 **hammie** : woah woah woah are you burr's theo ??

 **muffin** : i'm not aaron's anything

 **muffin** : i literally only went with him to prom once and y'all haven't gotten over it

 **laffy** **taffy** : alexander only meant that you two are very friendly with each other

 **hammie** : I SAID WHAT I SAID

 **muffin** : @tippy what's your name?

 **tippy** : adri! hi!

 **muffin** : you're very friendly for someone i literally just robbed a few minutes ago

 **tippy** : i'm just friendly in general

 **tippy** : and i forgive very easily

 **hemingway** : you'll probably forgive someone who stabs you

 **macaroni** : sounds like them

 **tippy** : @theo do you want to know why my name is tippy ?

 **muffin** : why?

 **tippy** : i tap dance!

 **muffin** : that's so fucking adorable

**group chat ~ fam jam**

**macaroni** : careful, your gay is showing

 **macaroni** : she STOLE your heart get it, do you get it

 **tippy** : i get it, i get it

 **tippy** : she's just really sweet

 **tippy** : but sHE KISSED ME SO WE ARE TECHNICALLY DATING SHE JUST DOESNT KNOW IT JUST YET

 **laffy** **taffy** : what the fuck adri

 **macaroni** : LE GASP

 **hemingway** : @laf YOU SAID A SWEAR YOURE GOING TO GO TO HELL

 **tippy** : trust me, you're not going to go to hell for swearing lmao

 **laffy** **taffy** : i almost forgot you were christian

 **tippy** : most people forget that when they hear that i'm gay as heck

 **macaroni** : tru dat

 **macaroni** : YOU GUYS

 **hemingway** : what

 **tippy** : what

 **laffy** **taffy** : what

 **hemingway** : can we take a moment to reflect on how adorable laf's user name is??

 **hemingway** : bc it's heckin adorable

 **laffy** **taffy** : y'all are too sweet

 **tippy** : jefferson is infecting you, run my child

 **macaroni** : YOU GUYS

 **tippy** : WHAT

 **macaroni** : THERES SOMEONE IN MY HOUSE

 **laffy** **taffy** : W H A T

 **hemingway** : well that ain't good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the cliffhanger. kudos n comments make me happy.


	11. the rat attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> character key:  
> hammie - alex  
> theplacetobe - laurens  
> brah - herc  
> laffy taffy - laf  
> macaroni - tjeffs  
> jemmy/sadison - james  
> inthesequel - angelica  
> elizard - eliza  
> peggles - peggy  
> saynotothis - maria  
> tippy - adrienne  
> hemingway - sally  
> notdorothy - dolley  
> muffin - theo

**recap** :

_**macaroni** : YOU GUYS_

_**tippy** : WHAT_

_**macaroni** : THERES SOMEONE IN MY HOUSE_

_**laffy** **taffy** : W H A T_

_**hemingway** : well that ain't good_

  
**group chat ~ really big squad**

**hemingway** : may we just have a moment of silence for thomas jefferson?

 **hammie** : he finally dead? great

 **jemmy** : @sally what happened to him

 **tippy** : apparently someone broke into his house and he might be dead bc he isn't responding to our frantic text messages but apart from that it's all good in the hood

 **muffin** : "it's all good in the hood" will probably be my senior quote

 **jemmy** : not talking to you (tippy) but okay

 **jemmy** : wait there's someone in his house?

 **hemingway** : that's what he was telling us anyways

 **jemmy** : i'm going over

 **tippy** : no that is a very bad idea

 **tippy** : the person might still be there

 **jemmy** : so we just gonna sit here and let him die

 **jemmy** : @hammie don't you fucking DARE say yes

 **macaroni** : greetings fellow citizens of this shithole of a planet, i am unfortunately still alive

 **jemmy** : thomas fucking jefferson explain what just fucking happened i was so worried please tell me

 **macaroni** : i am only partially dead which is a good thing

 **laffy** **taffy** : stop beating around the grassy hill just tell us please

 **brah** : babe i think you're saying it wrong

 **laffy** **taffy** : hush my child

 **macaroni** : you know how i said some rats have invaded monticello

 **macaroni** : they just stormed into my room and they were crawling everywhere it was fucking terrifying

 **macaroni** : it was really dark and i was legitimately near tears

 **macaroni** : it was like those damn colonisers came again

 **jemmy** : lmao

 **jemmy** : i genuinely thought you were hurt, can you imagine

 **macaroni** : i AM hurt one of them nabbed my phone and ran with it

 **jemmy** : how did you get it back

 **macaroni** : i have a cat, remember ??

 **macaroni** : mars can be very helpful in times like this

 **hammie** : can you imagine that james sadison actually expressed genuine fear for jefferson's health and well-being ?? miracles truly happen

 **hammie** : **madison

 **jemmy** : no no, leave it as sadison

 **jemmy** has changed his name to **sadison**

 **sadison** : i'm so fucking sad

 **theplacetobe** : or sadistic

 **sadison** : that too!

 **theplacetobe** : y'all we've actually got plans for today can you imagine

 **peggles** : what are they

 **theplacetobe** : i was invited to see an art exhibit by my art teacher and she basically said i could bring as many people as i wanted to

 **inthesequel** : what did she actually say

 **theplacetobe** : okay she said a few but i'm sure she'll be fine with you guys showing up

 **elizard** : great! when is it?

 **theplacetobe** : i'll text you when it's time, just get ready

 **notdorothy** : After that, could y'all do me a favour?

 **brah** : sure what is it

 **notdorothy** : My friend is directing a play for her high school and she needs some people to work on the back drops

 **notdorothy** : I told her you'll help already so you don't really have a choice

 **peggles** : do i know her?

 **notdorothy** : You probably do to be honest

 **notdorothy** : You know everyone, it's kinda getting creepy

 **notdorothy** : Her name's Deborah Sampson

 **inthesequel** : i remember her! she used to be on the student council is she not

 **notdorothy** : She was

 **laffy** **taffy** : the phrase 'is she not' is copyrighted, herc tell them

 **brah** : sorry my dudes, the french guy is correct

 **macaroni** : CAN YALL FUCKING HELP ME

 **macaroni** : THE RATS ARE IN MY BEDROOM

 **muffin** : you can chill in aaron's house i'm sure he wouldn't mind

 **macaroni** : where's the catch, i know you wouldn't be willingly nice

 **muffin** : his house got invaded by bedbugs lmao

 **muffin** : he spent six hours trying to get rid of them then gave up and fell asleep on the floor

 **macaroni** : @JEMMY WHY ARE YOU BEING SO MEAN PLEASE HELP ME

 **sadison** : i hope the rats bite you in the ass

 **macaroni** : J E M M Y

 **sadison** : calm down i'm coming

 **hammie** : he's coming?

 **theplacetobe** : not everything's about sex babe

 **peggles** : okay! we’re at the art thing and i am confused

 **notdorothy** : I personally think it's about anger or something like that

 **tippy** : sadness or something idk, don't trust me on this one

 **inthesequel** : i think it means fear i'm not sure

 **muffin** : i'm rolling with adri on this one even tho i don't know what tf that's supposed to be

 **theplacetobe** : it's called expressive art you muffin

 **muffin** : !!!

 **brah** : jawn, if you're so fuckin good at looking at art tell us what the fuck that's supposed to be

 **theplacetobe** : i’m sorry WHO

 **theplacetobe** : dude i'm not a professional, i'm just calling out our favourite baked good on her assholry

 **macaroni** : that's copyrighted

 **peggles** : you came all the way here just to say that

 **macaroni** : can y'all send me a pic of the 'art' you're looking at?

 **elizard** : i thought you were with us?

 **macaroni** : does monticello being invaded by those filthy rats ring a bell

 **elizard** : oh, yeah

 **hammie** : it looks like anger. there's way too much red and orange and all for it to not be anger

 **hammie** : but james should know a lot about anger, tell em

 **jemmy** : i will not stand for this slander

 **hemingway** : the art people said whoever guesses what it is first gets a free cake

 **hammie** : what kind of cake

 **laffy** **taffy** : does it really matter?

 **brah** : laf!

 **laffy** **taffy** : oui oui it is i

 **laffy** **taffy** : i personally think it's disappointment

 **peggles** : i'll go and tell them we guessed disappointment

 **peggles** : y'all we got a free cake

 **hammie** : WHAT KIND OF CAKE

 **laffy** **taffy** : DOES IT MATTER

 **hammie** : i found someone who could be a witness for you

 **sadison** : wrong chat my dude

 **elizard** : @james you really gotta change your username

 **saynotothis** : @alex you just had to run your mouth didn't you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m now updating once a day so i can finish up this book before i go on a wifi less holiday. give kudos and write a comment if you liked this chapter!


	12. james sadison = potus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hammie/alabama - alex  
> theplacetobe - laurens  
> brah - herc  
> laffy taffy - laf  
> macaroni/jettison - tjeffs  
> sadison/medicine - james  
> inthesequel - angelica  
> elizard - eliza  
> peggles - peggy  
> saynotothis - maria  
> tippy - adrienne  
> hemingway - sally  
> notdorothy - dolley  
> muffin - theo  
> literalroyalty - george frederick

**recap** :

_**hammie** : we found someone who could be a witness for you  
_

_**sadison** : wrong chat my dude_

_**elizard** : you really gotta change your username_

_**saynotothis** : @alex you just had to run your mouth didn't you_

  
**group chat ~ really big squad**

**hammie** : i am so, so, SO sorry

 **saynotothis** : how about you learn how to keep your mouth shut for once in your miserable little life

 **theplacetobe** : ^

 **hammie** : sorry again john

 **theplacetobe** : it's cool

 **inthesequel** : alexander, please explain what is going on

 **hammie** : james reynolds is abusing maria and i'm trying to help her

 **elizard** : maria! i thought you broke up with him!

 **saynotothis** : well, i tried but he wouldn't take no for an answer

 **saynotothis** : i'm so sorry, eliza

 **elizard** : no! it's cool! i can never be upset with you

 **saynotothis** : thank you

 **hammie** : and we found someone who saw the nasty ass things reynolds did to maria

 **hammie** : i can add him to this group chat if you want

 **saynotothis** : of course! whatever you want

 **hammie** has added **literalroyalty** to this group chat

 **literalroyalty** : why am i here

 **hammie** : you're george frederick, right? i didn't get anything wrong

 **macaroni** : you've gotten plenty wrong but not this time

 **sadison** : not now thomas i swear

 **literalroyalty** : yeah, it's me

 **literalroyalty** : is this about the reynolds vs random girl thing

 **hammie** : yes

 **hammie** : one guy my foster dad knows is a lawyer and we could hire him for maria if she wants to

 **saynotothis** : it's cool, you can try

 **saynotothis** : but if this goes wrong i'm probably going to die but whatever

 **literalroyalty** : we can get a restraining order until the actual court case day

 **tippy** : i know this may be the wrong time but i have an idea

 **muffin** : go ahead

 **tippy** : james, change your name to 'medicine'

 **tippy** : bc it sounds like madison and you're always sick

 **sadison** : good idea adri, i'm making you my vice president

 **brah** : we just going to accept that james "i'm always fucking sick" madison is the president of the united states of america ??

 **hemingway** : yes!

 **literalroyalty** : y'all are too wild lmao

 **sadison** has changed his name to **medicine**

 **medicine** : i am a changed man

 **saynotothis** : can all of you stay serious for more than two seconds at a time

 **tippy** : sorry

 **laffy** **taffy** : (the use of the word y'all twice is physically harming me someone help please)

 **saynotothis** : it's cool (laffy you're cute and all but shut the hell up)

 **literalroyalty** : i can get the restraining order right now if you want? just meet me somewhere and we'll go together

 **saynotothis** : sure, i'll pm you

 **literalroyalty** has removed **literalroyalty** from this group chat

 **elizard** : i don't know about this, this frederick guy seems kinda shady

 **inthesequel** : yeah, there's something not quite right about him

 **peggles** : y'all are looking too much into this

 **peggles** : if it's bothering you @eliza go ask maria if you can come with them

 **elizard** : yeah, that might be a good idea

 **elizard** : i gotta go!

 **hammie** : laffy i am so sorry for whatever is about to happen next but i need everybody on this group chat to meet me in monticello

 **macaroni** : the rats haven't left yet

 **medicine** : that's really dangerous are you okay

 **macaroni** : i'm fine, jem

 **hammie** : just meet me in the schuyler mansion

 **laffy** **taffy** : why did you apologise to me

 **hammie** : you will find out very soon

 **hammie** : also, tjeffs and medicine's usernames are very similar it is confusing me

 **hemingway** : mine and your names are very similar, change you prick

 **hammie** : N E V E R

 **peggles** : i vote for tjeffs to change his, medicine's is too fuckin cute

 **medicine** : we just gonna call me that now, okay then

 **inthesequel** : PEGGY

 **inthesequel** : no swearing in my lobby

 **macaroni** has changed his name to **jettison**

 **peggles** : what the fuck does jettison mean

 **hemingway** : to throw or drop something from an aircraft or plane

 **peggles** : that was quick. do you have that memorised or something

 **hemingway** : i am a writer how many times do i have to say

 **peggles** : that sentence was worded weirdly, you sure you're a writer

 **hemingway** : i don't usually write in english and i have no fucks left to give about english grammar

 **hemingway** : i lived in france for a while, remember

 **peggles** : yeah i remember

 **peggles** : but why is jefferson's name jettison

 **jettison** : it kinda rhymes with my surname i don't even know it just seemed fitting

 **medicine** : his name is jettison bc sometimes people want to throw him out of a plane

 **peggles** : fair enough

 **brah** : do y'all wanna see something

 **muffin** : go ahead

 **brah** : john do your shit

 **theplacetobe** : hey, alabama hammerman

 **hammie** : yeah?

 **hammie** : wAIT A DAMN MINUTE

 **brah** : HE ACRUALLY RESPONDED I AM CHOKIGN

 **theplacetobe** : ITS GREAT ISNT IT

 **laffy** **taffy** : alabama, i am concerned

 **laffy** **taffy** : why do we need to meet in the schuyler mansion and why did you apologise to me

 **theplacetobe** has changed **hammie** 's name to **alabama**

 **alabama** has changed his name to **hammie**

 **theplacetobe** has changed **hammie'** s name to **alabama**

 **alabama** has changed his name to **hammie**

 **theplacetobe** has changed **hammie** 's name to **alabama**

 **alabama** has changed his name to **hammie**

 **hammie** : fuckin hell jawn

 **theplacetobe** : i'm sorry who the FUCK is this jawn you speak of

 **inthesequel** : yo laf taf

 **inthesequel** : do you want to know why alabama apologised to you

 **hammie** : please let it die

 **hammie** : and angelica if you tell him anything i swear i would murder you

 **inthesequel** : he stole your credit card and accidentally ordered six more pizzas than he was meant to, that's why everyone's at our house. to finish off the stolen goods. shame on you, alabama

 **laffy** **taffy** : ALABAMA W H Y

 **hammie** : IM SORRY

 **tippy** : YOU GUYS GUESS WHAT

 **tippy** : PEGGY KISSED SALLY

 **jettison** : W H A T

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments water my plants and keep me well fed.


	13. in which lafayette discovers lafayette

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> character key:  
> hammie/arizona - alex  
> theplacetobe - laurens  
> brah - herc  
> laffy taffy - laf  
> jettison - tjeffs  
> medicine - james  
> inthesequel - angelica  
> elizard - eliza  
> peggles - peggy  
> saynotothis - maria  
> tippy - adrienne  
> hemingway - sally  
> notdorothy - dolley  
> muffin - theo  
> underthesea- samuel seabury

**recap** :

_**inthesequel** : he stole your credit card and accidentally ordered six more pizzas than he was meant to, that's why everyone's at our house. to finish off the stolen goods. shame on you, alabama_

_**laffy** **taffy** : ALABAMA WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS TO ME_

_**hammie** : IM SORRY_

_**tippy** : YOU GUYS GUESS WHAT_

_**tippy** : PEGGY KISSED SALLY_

_**jettison** : W H A T_

  
**group chat ~ really big squad**

 **jettison** : SOMEONE EXPLAIN

 **hemingway** : @peggy are we dating or nah

 **peggles** : idk, do you want to date me

 **hemingway** : probably

 **hemingway** : what about you

 **peggles** : probably as well

 **hemingway** : okay

 **hemingway** : go out with me, pegs?

 **peggles** : ofc

 **inthesequel** : this sounds so adorable when you read it but when you actually physically see it it's disgusting

 **jettison** : how?

 **inthesequel** : they are trying to eat each other's faces

 **jettison** : ew

 **hammie** : anyways, do any of you want to hear a funny story?

 **muffin** : hey, arizona helmetman

 **hammie** : what?

 **hammie** : WAIT

 **muffin** : you fall for this every fucking time 

 **hammie** : it's only been twice

 **brah** : twice too many

 **theplacetobe** : shut up arizona

 **theplacetobe** has changed **hammie** 's name to **arizona**

 **arizona** : at this rate i've just accepted my fate

 **arizona** : YO THAT RHYMES

 **brah** : I KNOW MY DUDE

 **jettison** : @jemmy can i temporarily move in with you?

 **medicine** : why

 **jettison** : do you remember the rats, my dearest jem

 **medicine** : sorry but no

 **notdorothy** : Ouch ouch oUCH

 **inthesequel** : you haven't been here in nearly two days and you decide to make that your welcome back phrase

 **notdorothy** : Yeah

 **inthesequel** : well alright

 **jettison** : why?

 **medicine** : i'm still in the closet and my fam are suspicious of you and why we're so close

 **jettison** : okay

 **peggles** : my macaroni dude, just hang out with us at the schuyler mansion

 **peggles** : wait where the heck are your parents

 **jettison** : it's a bit of a long story but my dad is in jail and my mum left for california a few years ago and never came back and i'm of age so i inherited monticello which is great

 **laffy** **taffy** : wait what

 **laffy** **taffy** : papa jefferson is in jail??

 **laffy** **taffy** : mama jefferson is gone??

 **jettison** : turns out he is a hard time drug dealer

 **jettison** : my mum probably left bc of the drug problem now that i think about it.

 **jettison** : i'm not talking about weed by the way.

 **laffy** **taffy** has changed his name to **sad** **laf**

 **sad** **laf** : i have an announcement to make

 **arizona** : go ahead

 **sad** **laf** : thank you for allowing me to speak, alabama

 **arizona** : i hate every single one of you all

 **brah** : **y'all

 **sad** **laf** has changed is name to **laffy** **taffy**

 **laffy** **taffy** : this is my coming out speech! as you all may know, i am a gay man, but, i think that i may be a gay PERSON. i'm non binary (agender to be specific) if the message is not so clear to you all

 **inthesequel** :  
C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S   
MY GOOD DUDE

 **brah** : CONGRATS ON DISCOVERING YOURSELF

 **laffy** **taffy** : so you're not mad? not even a little bit?

 **brah** : why would i be mad?

 **brah** : i love you laffy

 **laffy** **taffy** : i love you too herc

 **tippy** : you're non binary?

 **tippy** : jOIN ME

 **laffy** **taffy** : yay!

 **laffy** **taffy** : you can be the leader of our club, i will be your second in command

 **tippy** : it's just the two of us tho

 **laffy** **taffy** : mercer’s nb but they are not in this gc so it does not count

 **laffy** **taffy** : but two is what makes it fun!!

 **tippy** : yeah!

 **arizona** : congrats laf.

 **arizona** : lemme just say something real quick

 **arizona** : WHAT THE FUCK

 **theplacetobe** : what's going on

 **peggles** : is he dead yet

 **jettison** : i wish

 **arizona** : I JUST SAW THE WEIRDEST THING ON MR ARNOLDS ROOF

 **theplacetobe** : what is it

 **arizona** : I DUNNO PERHAPS A FUCKING BODY

 **brah** : WHAT THE FUCK

 **brah** : RUN OR THEYLL THINK YOU DID IT

 **arizona** : hang on

 **arizona** : i think they're alive or something

 **arizona** : they're alive it's confirmed

 **arizona** : but they might be a vampire and mr arnold isn't at home so he can't help me

 **muffin** : tell me how they look like, maybe i know them or something

 **arizona** : cropped hair with pale blue streaks in it, a little tan skin, kind of looks like thomas sanders, star tattoo on their wrist, half naked, holding a mOTHER FUCKING FIRE EXTINGUISHER AND IS LYING ON MY ROOF

 **muffin** : i can safely say that i do not think i know this person

 **arizona** : THEYRE WAKING UP

 **theplacetobe** : i don't think being near this person is a good idea. they could be a murderer or something! why would you trust anyone you find lying on your roof, half naked and holding a fire extinguisher?

 **arizona** : his name is sam and he's the friendliest piece of shit i've ever seen

 **arizona** : turns out he got high and ended up on the roof holding a fire extinguisher

 **theplacetobe** : while being half naked

 **brah** : god fucking dammit john the only time we don't want you to be the voice of reason

 **inthesequel** : yeah, we just need to meet this friendly piece of shit

 **arizona** has added **underthesea** to this group chat

 **underthesea** : hey! what is this?

 **jettison** : the worst group chat you've ever been in please leave while you can

 **arizona** has removed **jettison** from this group chat

 **elizard** has added **jettison** to this group chat

 **elizard** : i leave for a few hours and this happens

 **elizard** : is underthesea samuel seabury

 **underthesea** : yeah! hi, eliza!

 **elizard** : hey, sammy!

 **elizard** : how did you get initiated into the group?

 **underthesea** : forgive me for asking but

 **underthesea** : is this a cult?

 **notdorothy** : I've been asking that for a while

 **brah** : i'm 40% sure that it is not a cult

 **underthesea** : that's....

 **underthesea** : not very certain, is it

 **brah** : not really

 **underthesea** : my boyfriend wants to know if this is the 'really big squad'

 **laffy** **taffy** : yeah, it is. do we know your boyfriend?

 **underthesea** : he saw me slowly sinking into my couch in despair and he asked me if i joined 'that fucking mess of a group chat'

 **elizard** : don't fucking curse it is not fucking good for you

 **underthesea** : my boyfriend's name is george frederick, do you guys know him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this only has two chapters left. comments and kudos help me grow as a person.


	14. group chat dad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> character key:  
> arizona - alex  
> theplacetobe - laurens  
> brah - herc  
> laffy taffy - laf  
> jettison - tjeffs  
> medicine - james  
> inthesequel - angelica  
> elizard - eliza  
> peggles - peggy  
> saynotothis - maria  
> tippy - adrienne  
> hemingway - sally  
> notdorothy - dolley  
> muffin - theo  
> literalroyalty - george frederick  
> underthesea- samuel seabury  
> burrito - aaron burr  
> gwash - george washington

**recap** :

_**underthesea** : my boyfriend wants to know if this is the 'really big squad'_

_**laffy** **taffy** : yeah, it is. do we know your boyfriend?_

_**underthesea** : he saw me slowly sinking into my couch in despair and he asked me if i joined 'that fucking mess of a group chat'_

_**elizard** : don't fucking curse it is not good for you_

_**underthesea** : my boyfriend's name is george frederick, do you know him?_

 

**group chat ~ really big squad**

**arizona** : you're dating george frederick??

 **underthesea** : yes!

 **inthesequel** : no offence but i don't think that's a great idea

 **inthesequel** : he's like,, the sketchiest guy i know

 **notdorothy** : besides aaron burr

 **inthesequel** : yeah, aaron burr kinda spooks me

 **muffin** : aaron burr is a perfectly fine human being

 **arizona** : burr is fine

 **laffy** **taffy** : did he not attempt to murder you

 **arizona** : he did not attempt to murder me

 **theplacetobe** : i don't know about you, but 'accidentally' shoving someone off a cliff counts as attempted murder when it's coming from someone like burr

 **muffin** : wait, he shoved alex off a cliff?

 **muffin** has added **burrito** to this group chat

 **burrito** : why am i here

 **muffin** : did you or did you not attempt to murder alexander hamilton by shoving him off a cliff

 **burrito** has removed **burrito** from this group chat

 **muffin** has added **burrito** to this group chat

 **muffin** : answer me

 **burrito** : it was more of an abnormally steep hill than a cliff

 **muffin** : a a r o n  b u r r

 **brah** : the real question was if it was an accident or not

 **burrito** has removed **burrito** from this group chat

 **muffin** has added **burrito** to this group chat

 **burrito** : he was being really annoying and i often have trouble distinguishing my intrusive thoughts from good ideas

 **muffin** : right

 **arizona** : so you legitimately attempted to end my life or just simply cause me serious bodily harm?

 **burrito** : yes

 **arizona** : do you want to try again

 **burrito** : ...

 **burrito** : yes

 **theplacetobe** : ALEXANDER NO

 **arizona** : ALEXANDER YES

 **arizona** : but seriously wtf burr

 **burrito** has removed **burrito** from this group chat

 **muffin** has added **burrito** to this group chat

 **medicine** : why do you always try to leave

 **burrito** : wait, are you madison?

 **medicine** : yes

 **burrito** : ...hey

 **medicine** : hey

 **burrito** : may i say something?

 **elizard** : go ahead

 **burrito** : you are keeping me here against my will it is my constitutional right to stay away from nasty ass group chats this is cyber kidnapping theodosia do something

 **arizona** : who's theodosia

 **arizona** : wait a fucking minute

 **burrito** has removed **burrito** from this group chat

 **arizona** has changed **muffin** 's name to **theodosia**

 **theodosia** has changed her name to **muffin**

 **arizona** has changed **muffin** 's name to **theodosia**

 **theodosia** has changed her name to **muffin**

 **arizona** has changed **muffin** 's name to **theodosia**

 **theodosia** has changed her name to **muffin**

 **muffin** : bitch if you don't stop i'll tear off your dick with my bare hands and shove it down your throat while singing the star spangled banner

 **arizona** : why the star spangled banner

 **muffin** : the last thing you would hear before your death is the national anthem for the worst country in the world

 **arizona** : N O

 **arizona** : when you're coming to finish me off i'll kill myself first. who's the idiot now?

 **muffin** : ....still you

 **underthesea** has added **literalroyalty** to this group chat

 **inthesequel** : oh! you're back

 **literalroyalty** : of course

 **underthesea** : when did you meet them?

 **literalroyalty** : yesterday

 **saynotothis** : why do you have that username?

 **literalroyalty** : bc i'm literal royalty

 **saynotothis** : i was expecting a different explanation

 **laffy** **taffy** : i'm literal royalty as well!

 **tippy** : kinda close but not really distant royalty

 **jettison** : kind of distant royalty?? idk my parents were disowned so

 **medicine** : same for the distant royalty

 **jettison** : ...

 **jettison** : is this some sort of unnaturally early proposal

 **medicine** : you know it

 **jettison** : i love you too

 **tippy** : not to ruin your good mood but where is sally

 **inthesequel** : i can guess where she is

 **inthesequel** : do you know who else is missing

 **elizard** : ah, yes, PEGGY

 **peggles** : what did i do now

 **elizard** : where's sally

 **peggles** : why would you assume i know where she is

 **peggles** : oh yeah

 **peggles** : we went out to get chipotle

 **jettison** : how romantic

 **peggles** : shut the fuck up jeffershit

 **peggles** : wait, i take that back immediately

 **medicine** : good decision

 **tippy** : is just me or is dolley never online

 **inthesequel** : she actually has an outside life and talks to people face to face

 **tippy** : i cannot imagine how horrible a life like that would be

 **muffin** : yeah, it'll be nasty as fuck

 **literalroyalty** : you guys are missing something

 **arizona** : what

 **literalroyalty** : you have to establish some sort of group chat dad

 **underthesea** : we should have a vote!

 **underthesea** : but i can't vote bc the only people i know here are alex, george and eliza

 **literalroyalty** : oh

 **literalroyalty** : if sammy can't vote i'm not voting

 **saynotothis** : only one vote here matters

 **saynotothis** has added **gwash** into this group chat

 **saynotothis** : mr washington

 **gwash** : Yes?

 **saynotothis** : if you could elect one person in my friend group to take on the role of a group chat dad who would it be

 **gwash** : Group chat dad?

 **saynotothis** : who out of everyone in this group chat is most likely to be a good parent

 **saynotothis** : (gender doesn't matter but they'll still be called group chat dad regardless)

 **gwash** : Is Hercules Mulligan a part of your friend group?

 **brah** : !!!

 **saynotothis** : yes

 **gwash** : I choose him.

 **saynotothis** : thank you mr washington

 **saynotothis** has removed **gwash** from this group chat

 **saynotothis** : the supreme being has spoken. herc is now group chat dad

 **notdorothy** : I thought I was the supreme being.

 **brah** : the role of group chat dad means i can tell anyone to do anything and it'll probably be a good idea, right?

 **underthesea** : yes

 **literalroyalty** : i think so

 **brah** : a new law is being passed

 **brah** : all of you have to shut the fuck up from now on thanks


	15. last day of summer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> character key:  
> arizona - alex  
> theplacetobe/arthoe - laurens  
> brah - herc  
> laffy taffy - laf  
> jettison - tjeffs  
> medicine - james  
> inthesequel - angelica  
> elizard - eliza  
> peggles/clothingpeg - peggy  
> saynotothis - maria  
> tippy - adrienne  
> hemingway - sally  
> notdorothy - dolley  
> muffin - theo  
> literalroyalty - george frederick  
> secondroyalty - charlotte  
> underthesea- samuel seabury  
> 

**recap** :

 **saynotothis** : the supreme being has spoken. herc is now group chat dad

 **notdorothy** : I thought I was the supreme being.

 **brah** : the role of group chat dad means i can tell anyone to do anything and it'll probably be a good idea, right?

 **underthesea** : yes

 **literalroyalty** : i think so

 **brah** : a new law is being passed

 **brah** : all of you have to shut the fuck up from now on thanks

 

**group chat ~ really big squad**

**peggles** : group chat dad why

 **brah** : group chat dad why NOT

 **laffy** **taffy** : he is an adorable menace. he must be eliminated at the asscrack of dawn

 **inthesequel** : since it's the second to the last day of summer vacation let's meet up at my house and do something

 **elizard** : we? didn't? agree? to? this?

 **peggles** : ugh eliza

 **peggles** : honestly, it's the last day of summer, let her live

 **arizona** : what are we even going to do in your house

 **peggles** : wait a sec

 **peggles** has changed her name to **clothingpeg**

 **clothingpeg** : i haven't changed my username before, it is now time

 **clothingpeg** has changed **theplactobe's** username to **arthoe**

 **arthoe** : peggy why

 **clothingpeg** : peggy why not

 **brah** : that's copyrighted laf stop her

 **laffy** **taffy** : sorry herc i cannot help you. i apologise again.

 **brah** : you are a useless datemate

 **laffy** **taffy** : !!

 **laffy** **taffy** : i am your datemate!

 **brah** : ofc you are. i love you

 **laffy** **taffy** : i love you too

 **tippy** : this is sweet n all but where is sally

 **arizona** : that's copyrighted jawn help

 **arthoe** : jawn? never heard of him

 **hemingway** : just bc i don't fit myself into every single messed up conversation you guys have doesn't mean i am dead okay?

 **tippy** : okay

 **underthesea** : this group chat is a very fun place

 **notdorothy** : We're glad you think so

 **inthesequel** : you guys, i think there's someone in my house

 **jettison** : been there done that

 **medicine** : slightly off topic but okay, thomas

 **inthesequel** : i'm freaking out

 **elizard** : get a baseball bat

 **inthesequel** : now is not the time to promote violence

 **notdorothy** : Angel, please

 **inthesequel** : okay i've met the people in my house and they're pretty chill

 **clothingpeg** : who are they

 **inthesequel** : theo and her friend

 **muffin** has added **secondroyalty** to this group chat

 **secondroyalty** : yo, i'm charlotte

 **secondroyalty** : just broke into angelica's house to rescue my cat that somehow got inside

 **muffin** : your house is really easy to get into, you have to fix that

 **inthesequel** : sure, i'll tell dad

 **literalroyalty** : charlotte

 **secondroyalty** : george

 **laffy** **taffy** : what is this

 **clothingpeg** : stereotypical good girl charlotte frederick just broke into my own house. how fucking scandalous

 **inthesequel** : no cursing on my christian roblox server

 **arthoe** : i'm sorry charlotte WHAT

 **literalroyalty** : she's my sister

 **literalroyalty** : people usually don't think she's my sister bc i'm white and she's not

 **arthoe** : ah, okay

 **literalroyalty** : plus, do i know you?

 **arthoe** : i used to be 'theplacetobe' but peggy changed my username so yeah

 **hemingway** : @pegs do you automatically know everyone or something?

 **hemingway** : every time someone new enters the group chat you somehow know them

 **clothingpeg** : it's part of my charm babe

 **clothingpeg** : they see me and they think 'fucking hell that chick is really fucking cute' and then they introduce themselves and we become friends

 **hemingway** : seems legit

 **inthesequel** : this is so ridiculously sweet someone stop them

 **clothingpeg** : just bc you haven't confessed your love for dolley payne doesn't mean we all have to suffer

 **inthesequel**  has removed **inthesequel** from this group chat

 **notdorothy** has removed **notdorothy** from this group chat

 **secondroyalty** : what the fuck is going on

 **literalroyalty** : welcome to the group chat

 **clothingpeg** has added **inthesequel** and **notdorothy** to this group chat

 **elizard** : but seriously, everyone meet up in schuyler mansion

 **elizard** : school has almost started and i want to enjoy my last few days before i get sent back to hell

 **saynotothis** : that's really dark for a cinnamon bun like you, eliza are you okay

 **elizard** : i'm fine

 **medicine** : maria always pops in when things have to do with eliza

 **brah** : yeah, that's kinda weird

 **arizona** : i bet they're dating

 **saynotothis** : we're not dating

 **arizona** : i have made a mistake

 **arizona** : i must change my name and flee the country

 **laffy** **taffy** has changed **arizona** 's name to **alabama**

 **laffy** **taffy** : fixed it for you

 **alabama** has changed his name to **arizona**

 **arizona** : don't do this to me, laf i thought we had something

 **brah** : EXCUSE ME

 **arthoe** : what herc said but way chiller

 **underthesea** : i feel like chiller isn't actually a word

 **jettison** : yeah, it doesn't feel real

private messages between **elizard** and **saynotothis**

 **elizard** : should we tell them that we're dating

 **saynotothis** : we could do that

 **saynotothis** : OR

 **elizard** : oh my god

 **saynotothis** : we can keep it away from them until prom night so i can dip you and make out with you on the dance floor while they watch in happiness and mild horror

 **elizard** : sounds good

 **elizard** : but can you really wait until prom

 **saynotothis** : prolly not but we can try

**group chat ~ really big squad**

**arizona** : you heard them jawn, you're a disgrace

 **arthoe** : jawn who??

 **secondroyalty** has removed **secondroyalty** from this group chat

 **brah** : should we let her leave or

 **literalroyalty** : if you bring her back it'll really annoy her

 **underthesea** : george no that's mean stop

 **literalroyalty** : ofc

 **muffin** : this is so sweet i cri

 **muffin** has added **secondroyalty** to this group chat

 **secondroyalty** : no please i gotta go

 **secondroyalty** : romeo got into a choco bar and we gotta take him to the vets

 **muffin** : of course

 **muffin** has removed **secondroyalty** from this group chat

 **literalroyalty** : romeo got into the chocolate??

 **literalroyalty** : i gotta go bye

 **underthesea** : bye!!

 **tippy** : who is romeo

 **muffin** : charlotte and george's cat

 **tippy** : oh

 **tippy** : do you have a pic of romeo

 **muffin** : [image attached]

 **tippy** : so fucking cute

 **muffin** : i know

 **arizona** : is it weird that i actually want to go back to school?

 **inthesequel** : no, actually, i'm getting a vibe like that

 **arthoe** : i feel.... excited, WHY AM I FEELING THIS WAY

 **saynotothis** : maybe it's bc it's our last year of high school before we go to college and this is our last chance at enjoying our childhood and maybe we want to hold on for a little longer bc of that. and we'll be going on to college and we might not be even getting into the same one and everything's changing dramatically and we want things to stay the same

 **clothingpeg** : ...

 **jettison** : sounds fake but okay

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! press the kudos button and vote if you liked it!
> 
> this is going to have a sequel (either in the summer or after the summer) when they are actually in high school instead of being on summer vacation.
> 
> thanks again!
> 
> [tumblr: baneberri  
> instagram: _baneberries]
> 
> question: would you guys like it if i wrote a written version of this fic? like, no group chat, just actual writing.


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